The Tao of Jackie Stallone

With a matriarch as magnificently loopy as “astrologer to the presidents” Jackie Stallone, the holidays in the Stallone house must be off the charts.

And considering the awful plastic surgery, it should come as no surprise that Jackie Stallone loves the crack. Sly’s doppelganger mom is the foremost practitioner of “rumpology” — the “ancient art” of reading people’s butt cracks! Just by looking at a photo of your booty, she can tell you your past and predict your future — just send her a digital photo of your ass and 600 bucks! Crazy? GENIUS! You know that Diddy wishes he’d thought of that first!

In honor of her body’s 90th birthday today (her face is only 30-something): This jaw-dropping official video shows her expounding on politics, including dissing Michelle Obama’s physical appearance. Click the screenshot to watch!

Long live Jackie Stallone! It’s her universe … we just live in it.

All Stallone, all the time:

Dueling Stallones
The Lesson of Stallone
Sly Stallone’s Craptastic Tattoo

Posted on November 29th, 2011 in Celebrity Gossip | Permalink